We’re not talking Conservatives and Liberals here. It’s not about whether you think communes are the best way to live or if dictators are good leaders. We’re getting at that idea of ‘neutrality’ where you don’t take sides and just get the job done. And we’re here to explain that it’s a myth. There’s no such thing as neutral. After all, only dead fish go with the flow.
The Myth of Being Neutral at Work
Neutrality sounds nice. Aspirational. Like Switzerland. You stay above the fray and just focus on making money. But persistent, true neutrality is a mirage. Even Switzerland takes sides sometimes. Why? Because there are times when you are going to care, where the outcome is going to matter, where you’re going to have skin in the game and it’s impossible to sit on the sidelines and watch it all unfold.
It’s natural and very human to have opinions about people, projects, and the way things should get done. If your opinion is thoughtful and based in experience, you’ve got to get it out there. After all, that’s what you’re being paid for. Not to passively do whatever others want, but to bring your expertise to bear on getting stuff done.
Furthermore, it’s natural to develop camaraderie with some people more than others. You can be civil and polite to almost everyone (although we allow that some people aren’t even worth the effort of a ‘hi’.) But you aren’t going to want to stay late to hash out a last minute rewrite on the next day’s presentation at 5 o’clock with just anyone. You will trust some colleagues more than others. You will not be neutral about who you would work with if given the choice.
Avoiding Alienating People as You Take a Position
Okay, so you’ve admitted that you’re not neutral. How do you proceed? How do you take sides or put forth a clear position without pissing people off?
First, get rid of your need to be liked by everyone. Your goal is not to live the equivalent of an Instagram post with little hearts floating up the screen every five minutes. That’s the wrong metric. Hearts don’t get promoted. Your goal is to be respected by everyone. To have people see you as a person who speaks honestly, listens to others, and does what they can to get the job done well.
Once you understand that goal, it becomes easier to see how to manoeuvre.
Acknowledge perspectives without overcommitting to sides
In a meeting, listen to what everyone says, mirror their words, and integrate when you suggest a way forward.
“So Bob, what I understand is that you think next Monday is too soon for our deliverable, yet Sally says that if we don’t begin implementation next week, we risk not meeting the quarter’s targets.” See what you did there? You demonstrated you’re listening and considering.
What you say next depends on who you think is right and how you can contribute to their position. Because we guarantee one of them is, and you’re doing yourself no favours if you sit on the fence and watch Bob and Sally fight.
Of course, there are too many variables here to give you a script. Are you the boss? Do you work for Bob or Sally? Are you the lead for a third team? Your power position matters a lot in your response.
But whatever you do, don’t announce the side you’re on by saying one of them is right. You’re just going to make an enemy. If you’re expected to open your mouth, you want to start asking about options and wiggle room to the one you think is wrong. You want to say things like, “If we want to meet that Monday goal, what needs to change? What are we missing?” You want to get everyone working together. So, you see. You’re taking a side, but it’s subtle.
Stay Consistent in How You Communicate
Just because you’re never going to actually be neutral, doesn’t mean you want to be perceived as unfair. Yelling at some people while sucking up to others is a surefire way to end up only working with psychopaths and sycophants.
In Canada, politeness goes a long way. Not pushover, ‘I’ll do what ever you want’. But assertive, ‘I’m not going to get all dramatic about this, let’s just get it done’.
Don’t bring up personal shit, either yours or theirs. Your tone doesn’t get excused because you had a sleepless night, and them not finishing a report has nothing to do with the way they dress. It’s an old adage, but it’s foundational: criticize actions, not people. They are behind on deliverables, not they are lazy. It’s easier for people to get their head around modifying behaviours rather than entire personalities.
So be consistent. Focus on tangibles. Regardless of how you feel about someone, civility always.
Map Informal Influence
Most people make the mistake of only trying to impress the boss. They manage up, hoping to get invited to play golf or just because they need the constant validation. Yes, you need to put effort into your relationship with your boss. But don’t ignore the janitor.
There are a lot of people in any given office environment that feel invisible. Cleaners. People who work in the cafeteria. Admins. Accounts payable. Most of HR. The IT help desk. These people, however, keep the system going. If they all disappeared one day, nothing would work and the whole office would slowly disintegrate and be taken over by vegetation like in those post-apocalyptic zombie movies.
You will achieve more, faster, if you remember that we all need allies of all types. Explore the full spectrum of opportunity when building your informal team. No one is neutral, and just because someone is often invisible or dismissed doesn’t mean that they don’t have influence. Since the vast majority of people pick sides anyway, put yourself in a position to have them pick yours.
An important point here is that being fake is going to backfire hard with this group. So don’t be a dick. Show up, be genuine, and considerate.
Final Thoughts
Neutrality in the workplace is a myth. If you buy into it, you will sabotage your career. But it doesn’t mean you have to get all Machiavelli.
The reality is, we constantly assess each other, looking for allies and safe harbours. We seek out people who will help and support, and avoid (as much as possible) people who will hurt or betray. So recognize that. You need a team to get the job done. Don’t pretend that you can stay neutral and be successful.
And don’t talk about actual politics. Ever.